Alan and I chatted it up online and immediately hit it off. He was communicative, attractive (according to his pictures) and after several days of chatting did not once send me any x-rated pictures. Alan lived in Jacksonville but split his time in Cocoa Beach. We agreed to meet during his next stay in Cocoa. Alan and I made plans to meet for dinner. As he was not from the area, I went against rule #1 and had Alan pick me up at my condo.
He showed up very early and I was not ready. Therefore, I made him wait in his car until I was. Upon the knock at the door, he was every bit as attractive as his photographs. He greeted me with a huge smile and a tight squeeze hug. He immediately was pleased that I was as attractive as my photographs as well. I supposed if I had not been he would have just said he knocked on the wrong door by accident.
Alan and I had dinner at a favorite local Italian restaurant. My first ah ha moment was when Alan ordered dinner. He was one of those where he wants to seem like he knew what he was doing when in reality he truly did not. I am not a girl that is impressed by a man being disrespectful to a waitress and modifying an order to complication.
The second ah ha moment was within the first 30 minutes of dinner. He started to grimace and stir in his chair. He launched into a saga about an automobile accident and his current lawsuit. Great, just what I need a professional plaintiff.
As a litigation paralegal for a large defense lawfirm my tolerance for the woe is me syndrome is non existent. This guy just would not let it go. It was about his massage and his doctor and how rich he was going to be after the trial date. I was glad to have ordered a glass of wine and seriously contemplated ordering a second one. It was going to be a long night.
After dinner I agreed to invite Alan back to my place, after all he had driven from Cocoa. He sat on my couch like Goldilocks and the three bears…trying every cushion…too soft…too firm. Oh dear God, make princess decide he has had enough and is leaving. He settles into my chair of all places, not some place where he could even sit next to me. He was obsessed with taking my face in his hands and kissing me in this strange manner. The first time, it was a bit romantic after that it was just creepy.
As long as he was sitting on the opposite side of the room, I did not have to worry about it. I do not even remember what was on the television while we were talking, for all I remember it was Silence of the Lambs. He kept talking about retiring for the evening like he was some old man. Then I realized he was trying to be cute about going into the bedroom. Oh, Mr. I can’t hardly move because I am so impaired from my auto accident wants to get busy. Oh great, I am sure he would be fantastic in bed. So after a slightly extended make out session, Alan, the nice guy departed.
Funny that I heard very little from him after that night. Maybe it was because I did not offer any free legal services. Amazing that weeks later he emailed me saying…”You are still as sexy and cute as ever.”